Ponderings

Are my eyes the window to my soul,
And do you really know what I’m thinking?
If you look, will you really see
Any part of me but my eyes?
I try to hide in my silence—
Will someone find me?
I want you to see all my hurting,
But I try to keep it secret.
Raging hormones, deep emotions
wrestle with my spirit.
Give me strength, O God, to fight it off.
Two worlds wage war within me
Fighting for my soul.
One side has it, the other tries to take it.
How long can I go on like this?
How long must I?
I want to give up, but I keep on fighting.
What use am I like this?
I’m about as good as dust in the wind;
I float around in pieces.
Who will put me back together?
God will.
He’ll speak and the wind will stop.
He’ll pick up the pieces, remold them
And breathe life anew into me.
I’m alive!

This poem was inspired by the phrase, “Your eyes are the window to your soul.” It’s a lovely notion, but in my experience it is so false. As a teenager, I wanted desperately for someone to really see me. I wanted someone to look at the pain I hid inside, but they never went past the smile I put on my face. I felt alone and broken so much of the time. A lot of what I felt was because of depression, but some of it was because I lacked that deep connection with others.

How often do you take the time to really notice another person and try to find out how they’re doing? I know here in the south, ‘how are you doing?’ is little more than a phrase of greeting. It has almost completely lost it’s meaning in the frequency and way it is used.

Have you ever needed someone’s attention and not gotten it? Have you ever encouraged someone who was down? Let’s talk about it in the comments below.

Like this poem? Check out it and more in my book, Poetry in Composition: A Coffee Table Book of Poetry and Photos.